Tears
by Alison224
Summary: Serena is upset because Darien says he doesn't love her anymore. What extremes will she go to now that she's heartbroken?
1. Why Diary?

Disclaimer: This plot is mine as is River. The characters are named from the show Sailor Moon and Serena looks like her animation self, but that's pretty much where the similarities end. This is a total AU fic with almost nothing from the show. Also, this is a REALLY old story, my first actually now that I think about it. No flames that are too hot please lol. Oh, I am NOT encouraging suicide in anyway. Enjoy the story and please review.   
Smile,  
~Liz~  
  
Tears  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Why? Why did my heart and soul leave? My lover, and my friend. He just left me. Why??!! Is it because I am not pretty enough? Too ditzy? Too clumsy? Too stupid? What is it? I need to know.  
  
~Flashback~  
  
"Serena, I think it's time we stopped seeing each other," he said. I couldn't believe my ears.  
  
"Darien, what do you mean?" I asked confused.  
  
"I mean," he said "that I'm breaking up with you. I don't love you anymore, and I don't want to be with you." I started silently crying, something I hardly ever do. I didn't want them to come, but they came anyway; faster and faster until my vision was blurred in a sea of salty tears. Tears, they mingled with the rain that had just started pouring; softly, and soundlessly, to add to my pain.   
  
How could he do this? I need him. He is my pillar of strength. Without him I am nothing. I started walking away, slowly, and noiselessly, thinking about our past, our history. As I walked through the rain I decided on one thing: I can't survive without my other half so why try and live? It's just not worth it.  
  
~End Flashback~  
  
So Diary, I'm going to do it. I'm going to commit suicide. I've thought about it before, but I never really "thought, thought" about it. I always figured that I had so much to live for in life, so why waste it? Now I know why. Who do I still have to live for? Well, there's Andrew, my best and only friend. That's all.   
  
Before I go through with it, I need to know why Darien dumped me. Even if it was for... for another girl!  
  
~Serena~  
  
I know this was a short chapter, don't worry there's more :) 


	2. River

Disclaimer: This plot is mine as is River. The characters are named from the show Sailor Moon and Serena looks like her animation self, but that's pretty much where the similarities end. This is a total AU fic with almost nothing from the show. Also, this is a REALLY old story, my first actually now that I think about it. No flames that are too hot please lol. Oh, I am NOT encouraging suicide in anyway. Enjoy the story and please review.   
Smile,  
~Liz~  
  
Tears  
I gazed at the fresh paper, white and crisp as the droplets of water from my eyes made the pages soft, venerable, and wet. I closed my book up, lay down on my bed, and poured my heart out on my soft, but cold pillow of blue silk.  
  
~The next day~  
  
I walked into the arcade calmly, and gracefully full of poise. I didn't trip at all. So much unlike my normal bouncy self.  
  
I must have looked awful, with permanent tear stains streaked on my ashen face and without any make up on.  
  
My hair dragged on the dirty green tiled floor, but I didn't pick it up. Why bother? Andrew gazed up at me from behind the counter. The instant he saw my face, he knew something was wrong.   
  
"Serena, what's wrong? You look so sad." He said.  
  
"Nothing," I replied quietly. He looked at me strangely and said,  
  
"I know it's something, but I also know that when you want to, you'll tell me."  
  
"Thanks, Andy," I said. He put a mint chocolate chip milkshake, my favorite kind, down on the counter in front of me.   
  
"It's on the house." he said,  
  
"Thanks, but no thanks, Andrew." I told him quietly. I wasn't in the mood for milkshakes, only answers. Just then, Darien walked into the arcade! He walked straight over to the counter, and hadn't realized I was there yet. Just as well I thought, except I needed those answers.   
  
I raised my head off my arms, and looked up. I started straight into Darien's soul. As I stared, I tried to decipher his eyes before he abruptly turned away. Unshed tears made their way to my eyes, before I could stop them, and I tried desperately to keep them in. They stayed, but he had wielded a new knife into my heart by looking away. I decided to ask my questions.   
After all how bad could the answers be anyway since my heart was already broken.  
  
"Darien," I asked, "why did you leave me?" He looked at me, and I asked quietly, "Was it another... another girl?" He looked away, and said,  
  
"Yes." I couldn't believe it. I was blown away. He was cheating on me for another girl. I glanced at Darien before continuing. "What's her name?" He was silent for a moment before answering.  
  
"Well, uh... her name is River."  
  
"River?" I asked incredulously.  
  
"Yeah, River. Did you hear me stutter my real girlfriend's name?" That really stung, even if I had guessed it all along. Darien, is... was my soul mate, my boyfriend, and my first and only love.  
  
"How long have you been dating her?" I asked casually even though I was trying my hardest to keep my tears in.  
  
"For about six months," he muttered.  
  
"Six months??!!" I screamed. I couldn't believe it. He was really cheating on me, and for six months none the less. I didn't even realize a thing! I started crying then. I couldn't help it. The tears just started coming and I was powerless to stop them. They were crystal clear tears, filled with my purity and pain. They streamed from my eyes, and traveled down my face to my nose. From my nose, they dripped over my lips, and off my chin to the floor with a quiet "drip". Darien again turned away from me.   
  
The tears fell faster now. I knew I had to leave. Andrew, had just come over when I jumped off of the rickety stool. I ran out the door before Andrew could stop me. He then proceeded to jump over the counter and chase me. I could her his voice as I ran.   
  
"Serena, Serena, wait! Come back!!" He called out.  
  
I kept running, until I arrived at the Crystal Lake bridge. I stopped and looked over the railing. I stared at the image of a girl in the water. Me. I never really spent much time looking in the mirror, analyzing myself. Sure, a quick stop by it to see if my hair was straight, but that was about it. But, now, I had all the time in the world. To criticize myself, convince myself about everything wrong with my body, but that's not what I wanted to do. I wanted to see me, not just a reflection, but the real me. I looked into the shimmering waters below. I gazed hard, and saw a face, a somewhat small face. A face with creamy white skin, and no blemishes. I saw medium sized, pinkish red lips. No chapping on them, just soft, smooth, skin; a somewhat small sized nose, with a few soft freckles sprinkled sparsely here and there. Very high cheekbones, on creamy buttermilk skin, painted with the fresh look of roses. Finely sized ears, with two gold rose, earrings in each ear. Hair that traveled from the tip of the scalp down to the ankles. The hair, that was usually held in it's "meatball" style, was set free. It was the color of the sun, and molten gold. It was swaying in the breeze, silky, and smooth. Finally, I came upon the most important part, they eyes, the windows to one's soul. The eyes were a bright cerulean blue, that with a flash, could look like lightning, or Willow trees swaying in the breeze. Eyes, with 1,000,000 and more different looks, and emotions. My eyes. My windows to My soul. My soul was clear, and overflowing with pain, and the feeling of unwant, and hurt.  
  
How should I do it? Jump off the bridge? Take pills? Slit my wrists or throat? I'll jump, I think. Much more suiting. Besides, I've always loved the water.  
  
At just that moment, Andrew came up behind me. He was panting. Obviously from running,   
probably looking for me.   
  
"(Pant, pant) Serena... (pant) what (pant) happened (pant) why did you (pant) leave?" He asked. I let him catch his breath, while I figured out what to say. Finally, I said calmly, in a soft and sad voice that I didn't quite recognize:  
  
"We broke up. He found a prettier, smarter, and better girl to date, I guess." He gazed at me with a look of pure disbelief, before replying,  
  
"Serena, that's not true, that can't be it. He loves you with all his heart and soul. I know, I can see it."  
  
"Oh, it's not true?!" I demanded. "Her name's River, and he's been cheating on me with her for over six months!" I screamed. At that moment, my eyes starting tearing over, and I sobbed loudly, my body shaking and rocking. Andrew wrapped me in a tight hug, in which he intended for me to just let loose my feelings and emotions. I did just that. I sobbed on his green polo shirt, making large wet marks, where my eyes had been. The unwant started leaving slowly, but surely and I knew I was still loved. Andrew loved me, even if it was more of a "family love".  
  
Unfortunately, the pain was still there. Andrew comforted me, like a big brother, saying soothing words, whilst rubbing my back. He reminded me somewhat of Darien, and how he used to comfort me when I was upset or hurt. The only difference, was the feeling of myself in Darien's arms, versus Andrew's arms. Andrew, was more of my "big brother", while Darien, was my boyfriend. There's quite a big difference.  
  
When I had calmed down enough, Andrew asked me what happened. He already knew Darien, and I had broken up, but he had few details.  
  
Whatcha think?? Please review :) 


	3. The Jump

Disclaimer: Same as before. This plot is mine as is River. The characters are named from the show Sailor Moon and Serena looks like her animation self, but that's pretty much where the similarities end. This is a total AU fic with almost nothing from the show. Also, this is a REALLY old story, my first actually now that I think about it. No flames that are too hot please lol. Oh, I am NOT encouraging suicide in anyway. Enjoy the story and please review.   
Smile,  
~Liz~  
  
SHOUT OUTS!!  
  
anime4ever: Thank you so much for your positive review, it's really appreciated lol. Hope you like this chapter.  
  
TK: I'm continuing right now lol. I hope you also like this chapter. Thanks for reviewing. :)  
  
Tears  
"Well," I said, my voice shaking a little, "on Friday, I received a call from Darien. His voice was really grave, as he told me to meet him a Crystal Lake Park at 1:00p.m. I didn't know what was up, but I had a feeling that it was really important."  
  
~Flashback~  
  
As I walked to the park, I looked up a few times. The sky was dark, and it looked like it would rain soon.  
  
I saw Darien in the distance, and hurried faster. When I reached him, I stood up to give him our usual "hello kiss". When he didn't kiss me back, I was upset, and surprised to say the least. That's when he broke the news to me. His exact words were,  
  
"Serena, I think that we should stop seeing each other." I gasped.   
  
"Darien, what do you mean?" I asked.  
  
"I mean," he said "I'm breaking up with you. I don't love you anymore, and I don't want to be with you."  
  
~Present~  
  
"That was pretty much the end of it." I finishing. Andrew was silent for a time, until he opened up his arms again for me. And again, I cried on his warm, and caring shoulder. When I had ceased crying, I told Andrew that I loved him dearly, but I really needed to think about this for a while by myself. He said "okay" and if I ever needed some one to talk to, I could go straight to him. Then he turned to me and quietly said,  
  
"Thanks for telling me everything. I hope you feel better since you got that weight off of your shoulders." And I realized I did feel a tiny bit better. I thanked him, and he left.  
  
By now, it was about 10:45p.m. I still needed to write Darien a letter before I jumped.  
  
Somewhere in my subconscious I probably knew I had snapped. This was just too much for one person to handle. First losing my parents and brother last year. Then all my friends except for Andrew leaving me, and now Darien gone when I needed comfort the most.  
  
When I got home, I yanked out some nice stationery, and a pen, and sat down on my navy blue sofa to write.   
  
At 11:40pm, I finished the letter. I figured when they found me missing, Darien and the police I mean, and they came here to look for evidence, they would see the note. I needed some fresh air, so I opened a window, and low and behold, the note flew out the window.   
*Oh, well.* I thought, *I'm not going to write another*. I then walked over to the door, and stepped out before shutting it. I had no real need to lock the door, since I was never coming back. Little did I know, but some how Darien had received the letter through his window, and at this very moment was reading it. If you would like to know what was in the letter it read:  
  
Darien,  
  
I'm sorry that you still had to date me when you had found some one so special, like River. By the way, what did you find special in her? Well, Darien, I really just wanted to say I love you even if you don't love me, because I'll never see you again. It's kind of ironic, you dumped me for River, and that's how I'm going. I hope you have a wonderfully filled life. But I'm sorry no matter what, I'll always love you.  
  
Love,  
Serena  
  
It was 11:45p.m., and I was at the bridge. I stood up on the first "step". Then, I took my right leg, and swung it over the bridge. After that, I took my left leg, and swung it over also. Now I was hanging on to the bridge forwards looking at the water. I turned my hands around, so that I could jump backwards. I wanted to see the world as I fell.   
  
Unfortunately, Darien showed up just as I was about to jump, I was extremely surprised to see him, but I stayed calm, cool, and collected. I was still going to jump, even if he was there.  
  
"Hello," I said. He looked at me before shouting.  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing Serena?!" I didn't answer him, but instead continued getting ready to jump.  
  
"How's River?" I asked, quite irritated that Darien was there. He didn't answer me. At last I was ready.   
  
"Darien, I'm going to jump." I told him. "I still love you very much, but I can't stay here with you. I love you." I smiled at him softly. And he looked at me speechless. I blew him one last goodbye kiss, and smiled again, as one final tear slid down my cheek. I gently let go of the bridge, my support. I felt suspended in mid air. Then the wind and gravity pulled me down to the River. I felt as if a rushing current carried me away before I shut me eyes for good. But, before I touched the water that final time, I heard Darien call out,  
  
"Serena, there was no..." that was it. I couldn't hear anything else. I had died.  
  
TBC Yeah, there's more. Actually the next part's (are) kind of unique in the fact that there's two possible endings. Hope you liked the story so far and please review :)  
  
~Liz~ 


	4. Depressing Ending Ending 1

Disclaimer: Same as before. This plot is mine as is River. The characters are named from the show Sailor Moon and Serena looks like her animation self, but that's pretty much where the similarities end. This is a total AU fic with almost nothing from the show. Also, this is a REALLY old story, my first actually now that I think about it. No flames that are too hot please lol. Oh, I am NOT encouraging suicide in anyway. Enjoy the story and please review.   
Smile,  
~Liz~  
  
SHOUT OUTS!!  
I'll have you know I'm udating this story even though I only got 1 review and it was for ch. 2 lol PLEASE review!!!! *finishes begging and exits stage left*.  
  
bebe-chrissy: Thank you lol. I'm glad you like th story so far. This part is kinda sad, but you can always read the second ending as soon as I get it up lol.  
  
Tears  
  
Ending 1:   
  
(Now if you want the story to be more depressing, read this next part. If you want the happy ending, skip this, and read the part after this)  
  
That was it. I still loved Darien, but I couldn't be with him. Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, don't make the same mistake I did. If you love some one no matter what they do, you'll always love them. Even if they break your heart. Don't give up. Don't ever commit suicide. I wish I could live all over again. Don't do it. You have so much more to live for no matter what has happened to you. I'm gone, but you don't have to be. Talk to some one. Suicide isn't the answer. Please listen to me. Talk to people, and live. Learn to live. That's my story. Please don't let it be yours.  
  
~Serena~  
  
THE END  
  
I hope you didn't think it was too preachy or sappy. Thoughts?? Yes, there is an alternate ending which is much more happy lol. ttyl  
~Liz 


	5. Sappy Ending Ending 2 come on, like you ...

Disclaimer: Same as before. This plot is mine as is River. The characters are named from the show Sailor Moon and Serena looks like her animation self, but that's pretty much where the similarities end. This is a total AU fic with almost nothing from the show. Also, this is a REALLY old story, my first actually now that I think about it. No flames that are too hot please lol. Oh, I am NOT encouraging suicide in anyway. Enjoy the story and please review.   
Smile,  
~Liz~  
  
SHOUT OUTS!!  
  
Kawaii Chase: Thank you lol. I hope you like either this ending or the last one.  
  
someone: I'm glad you liked that ending. You probably won't like this one then 'cause it's all happy and sappy and drippy and totally predictable lol. Of course that's why I wrote two endings, one for those who like sad, different ends and one for those who like all the loose ends to tie together perfectly. (I personally am both depending on my mood lol)  
  
NaturesPrincess: Thank you for the compliment. I hope you like this happy ending, it's kinda unoriginal, but hey, as I said before I wrote this... omgoodness 4 yrs. ago!!!! Wow, it's been awhile since I've looked at it lol. Anyway enjoy ttyl :)  
  
Tears  
  
(Now if you want the happier version, read on.)  
  
I went to heaven, and it was so absolutely magnificent, I can't put it into words. It was like when you take your first bite of a true New York Cream Cheese cake, complete decadence. Yet all the time I was there I watched Darien from above. He cried daily. In fact he cried all the time. I could feel more love growing towards him while I was there. An interesting thing that I saw was that Darien brought all his flowers to the bridge and dropped them peacefully into the River. He even had a plaque put there for me.  
  
All the while I was up there, I never once saw him call or go visit the infamous River.  
  
One year later, on the anniversary of my death, Darien went to the bridge. He wore all black and carried 6 red and 6 white roses. I didn't have a watch, but somehow I knew it was midnight, the exact time of my death. Then, something amazing happened. Darien said,  
  
"Serena, I wish you were alive, and here with me. I love you too, and there was no River. In truth, I was getting horrible nightmares that you would die, if I didn't stay away from you.   
But what really happened was you died because I pushed you away. I'm so sorry, and I wish you were alive." I was shocked, he pushed me away for protection? I forgave him instantly and desparately wanted to be with him.   
  
"Be careful what you wish for," I said, "because wishes really can some true." He turned around suddenly, and his jaw dropped open. He came rushing over to me. I half hugged him, because otherwise, he would go right through me. As he lightly kissed my lips, he couldn't stop saying he was sorry. Even after I accepted his apology. I kissed him back, and to my astonishment, he didn't go through me. In fact, as we kept kissing, I started to become more and more real. Then he kissed me a second time. This time, the kiss was more of an eternal pact saying we would stay together forever no matter what. As he held me in his embrace, I watched the roses as they fell into the river. They each drifted peacefully one by one softly and silently into the calming river. The complete opposite way I had fallen.  
  
I cried tears about our kiss. This time though, the tears were not because of pain, and unwant, but rather of hope, and joy, and love. This kiss was the exact replica of a kiss made over one thousand years ago, from a prince to a princess, and that was something to shed tears about.  
  
The End, finally lol. Personally, I think I liked the first ending 'cause it was less expected and more sad, this one was kinda sappy and I'm not sure if I really liked it or not lol. Anywho, please review and tell me your thoughts :)  
~Liz~ 


End file.
